A likeness

Once a big pack of saltine crackers named Barf went to town and met lots of moist mouths. Aah! Moist mouths! Barf was fortunate enough never to be caught by any of the moist mouths. He never got caught. Ever. But one day he did! A moist mouth thought to moisten one of Barf's precious crackers, but the tables quickly turned when the cracker dried out the moist mouth! In amazement, the moist mouth coughed, spewing microscopic bits of the cracker(that were somehow still dry!) all over the pizza parlor. The rain of salt and carbohydrates was a monument to Barf's momentary victory. But now Barf was one cracker down!

Some days I feel like Barf.
Some days I feel like a freshly de-moistened mouth.
And some days I feel like the pizza parlor.
And pop reality shows make people stupider.

Alan's next adventure?

I've heard from more than one person that there are programs and templates out there that allow any ol' average Joe to make a comic strip like unto mine. I assure you that all(read: both) of Alan's Adventures were painstakingly created pixel by pixel using MS paint(among other things).

I tell ya, though, it sure discourages me from making any new adventures, because I COULD be using a comic strip creator. I wanted to create something unique and not-easily-creatable. Maybe I could switch to montages?

People tend to write things that have happened on their blogs. Here is something that has happened:

I threw down fifty bucks at that grocery store! I've never spend so much on groceries!

Note that if your finger slips while typing BLOGGER you may accidentally type BOOGER.

Not a big deal

If I treat a waaaaay overdue post like a big deal, then I'm surrendering to the idea that people have been long expecting one. So this is just a placeholder. It's the hammer that you throw into the ocean before you hit the water so that the surface tension doesn't kill you. In my next post, I'll have already broken the sabbatical, so it won't be a big deal. Just another post. As for now, here's a picture I whipped up specifically for this post.

Twocan Sam!

After hearing mixed reactions to Alan's first adventure, I feel the need to mention that it really is a true story. I'm sick of celebrities and I'm not going to talk about them. Go to someone else's blog for that. I can't guarantee anything. Forget it.

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." - Woody Allen

Click on it for bigger, more adventurous viewing! Click on it!!