Sunday, September 12, 2010


Dear blogosphere,

I got a job. Months ago. Sorry for not blogging about it. But here is some neat evidence that I really did get a job!

Here's my name plaque, along with those of some of my workmates:

And here's my desk with the computer they gave me!

It doesn't have a hard drive, but that's NEVER STOPPED ME from being productive. I've almost completely automated the jobs of everyone around me. Pay. Raise.

I'm just a software tester, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally do things like walk to the break room to grab some water, discuss things over lunch, and chuckle at Dilbert comic strips. I tell ya, I'm the f'real deal. I can be sick and still get paid. I can stress about 401k's. I can attend telephone conferences. Do you think I was doing any of that stuff when I was a student? No. You don't.

I'll keep you all posted about the status of my climb up the corporate ladder through regular and frequent blogging. Hahahahahaa, just kidding.

Really though. I'll try to blog more. Hahhahahahhahhh.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

movie theaters

So there's hubbub about illegally downloading music and movies. Let me take this moment to assure you that I have NOT been participating in such activities. Just in case Axe Cop is reading my blague. Amazon music downlaods and Netflix streaming are fully able to meet my music and movie needs.

Keep reading. This isn't a preachy post. It's a rant.

Amazon and iTunes and other paid download services have done wonders in terms of getting people to pay for music. Why are people still stealing movies? Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you'd otherwise have to GO TO A THEATER TO WATCH THEM? What if the only way to listen to new songs was to go to a public music house where you had to pay per listen? PER LISTEN?

Oh hey, my favorite band has a new single out. I'm off to the mall with my fistful of dollars so I can go hear it ONCE. What the hey, it was payday yesterday, I might even listen to it TWICE. What times will they be playing it?I can't wait until it comes out on CD and/or Amazon MP3. Oh man, I hope I get a good seat to listen to the song, usually I'm too far away from the speakers and the floor is sticky and the people are noisy and the popcorn costs one million dollars.

Why do we still put up with theaters?

Here's me eating a green bell pepper like an apple:

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Axe Cop

So I'm a secret fan of some web comics, but don't tell anyone. Except please feel free to tell as many people as you possibly can about Axe Cop. It's written by a 5-year-old and drawn up by his 29-year-old brother. It's astoundingly entertaining. It's at Axe Cop dot com.

I lost it when I read Ask Axe Cop number 11. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't breathe for about five minutes. I'm going to go look at it again.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

How I became cool

I didn't seek to be cool. Coolness came to me.

In bullet point form!

- Once upon a time, people used Palm Pilots!
- Nerds like me rejoiced.
- The things you could DO with those things!
- But they were not cool.
- Oh no.
- Functionality was not a measure of coolness.
- Did I stop using mine?
- No way.
- But I started to keep it a secret, at least.
- After many years.

What happened next?

- Steve happened.
- Steve invented the iPod and iPhone.
- And everyone started geekin out about em.
- Functionality is cool now?
- I see people all over the place using them and thinking they're cool.
- Now I can use an iPod touch to do all the stuff I used to do with a Palm Pilot!
- And that's perfectly acceptable!

Did I rise to a new tier of coolness? Or has coolness plummeted to geekiness? Millions of people have become severe nerds and they think it's cool. How did that happen? Nerds.

Just look at the number of hits!
palm pilots are cool
ipod touches are cool

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Things that are timely

This world that we live in is outrageously full of timely things. What's timely, you ask? Well, dictionary dot com!

Timely: occurring at a suitable time; seasonable; opportune; well-timed: a timely warning.

No, no, you say, what is an example of a timely thing? Well, I Googled some key phrases to find out what some of the world's most timely things are.

Take a second to think about what YOU think are the world's most timely things.

"that's a very timely"
- question
- inclusion
- article
- scripture reference
- comment

"extremely timely"
- Michael Jackson post
- Parker Griffith commentary
- tracking
- IT governance

"outrageously timely"
- the adoption process

Whoops! Looks like someone put "timely" next to "costly" and assumed that "-ly" means "well it sure takes up a lot of fill in the blank." Ho ho! What an interesting discovery while finding out the world's most timely things.

Oh man. Sorry guys. I'm just breaking the blogging slump. But hey! I moved the compliment and insult generators to the sidebar and I've added lots of words! version 1.1 each!