Monday, November 26, 2007

Things that made me sad

Here are a few things that have made me sad recently:

It was good to be home, and I left. I just packed my bags amidst my family members moaning "don't go"s and "why do you hate us"s and left. Airplanes wait for no man.

I went to a place called Flatbreadz because it looked like it had some pretty good sandwiches. But I was in an airport. In Las Vegas. The prices. Yeah. Made me sad.

I read up on the blogs, since I haven't in a while, and one of them made me extremely sad.

I didn't know about a time zone change that got mixed up in all my travels, and I gave some wrong info to a lady that asked me for some correct info. And I landed in Salt Lake later than I thought I would. Sad.

I came to the realization that the hardest part of the semester is still forthcoming.

I looked at the new White Ninja comic strip and was delighted! Then I realized I have to wait 2 more days to see a new one. That was definitely saddening.

I floundered in the misty sea, but could not abide its mystery. I wound up sad, you bet.

I stayed up late and was sad to wake up early.

Why would I leave a happy place like [hometown] and voluntarily come to [name of university] to subject myself to another month of [plural standardized unit of weight] of homework and projects? Am I [derrogatory adjective] or something?

To end on a happy note, I bought chicken strips at Smith's!

Monday, November 19, 2007


Heck, I can finish up the semester without poking my organs out with a pitchspoon. Heck!

Heck, I can feel a sense of accomplishment amidst a torrent of mediocrity. Heck!

Heck, I can eat whatever I want! Heck!

Heck, I can see your undies! Heck!

Heck, these baked beans are spoiled! Heck!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

It has new game!

There was a nice computer game advertised on a while back called "Where's An Egg?". The game allowed you to speak to a hand ful of people, but all you could do was ask them about specific items or people that you had seen before, and their responses were limited to pictures of people, things, or places. you have three bullets and you have to shoot the person who has the egg. It's an astonishingly tricky game. It's an astonishingly great game.

Life is like Where's an Egg?. We all wander around, asking vague questions that generally refer to things, places, or people we've seen. They respond with fuzzy images of other people, places and things, and we eventually find an egg.

Ok, life is nothing like Where's an Egg?, but there are days when I wish it was. I haven't had one of those days for years.

Here's a video of Iraqi recruits trying to do jumping jacks. If you have any milk on hand, drink some, watch this video a couple of times, and blow the milk out your nose as forcefully as you can.

Who's your favorite? I think mine is the guy on the far right.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

And another thing

As I sat in the Data Center last night, I saw employees' shifts end, and I watched as they shouted a general "have a good night!" to those poor saps who had to stay later than they. Their well-wishing was always answered with a "you too" or "aight" or "U2" from those of us who were staying. Well, 3:00 rolled around, and my backup was complete, so I grabbed my stuff and spat out a "have a good night!" to 3 remaining employees. I was met only by silence, from a stone-faced, computer-screen-watchin' threesome. For the entire length of the many halls leading to the data center's exit, I muttered about how they had better have a SHIZZY night.

"Man, that was one shizzy night!"
"Yeah, it'll be hard to top the shizziness of that one."
"There was just so much shizzy shiz!"
"Yeah, man. Yeah."
"I feel like I need a shower!"

I secretly hoped that there were cameras and microphones all along the hallways.

A likeness

Once a big pack of saltine crackers named Barf went to town and met lots of moist mouths. Aah! Moist mouths! Barf was fortunate enough never to be caught by any of the moist mouths. He never got caught. Ever. But one day he did! A moist mouth thought to moisten one of Barf's precious crackers, but the tables quickly turned when the cracker dried out the moist mouth! In amazement, the moist mouth coughed, spewing microscopic bits of the cracker(that were somehow still dry!) all over the pizza parlor. The rain of salt and carbohydrates was a monument to Barf's momentary victory. But now Barf was one cracker down!

Some days I feel like Barf.
Some days I feel like a freshly de-moistened mouth.
And some days I feel like the pizza parlor.
And pop reality shows make people stupider.