Things and their ratings

I slammed out some sweet history assignments. The one and only thing I remember is that the Chinese used the word "emperor" because "king" wasn't awesome enough. A very long time ago I overheard a guy say "are you kidding? I'm the king of these things!" referring to the making of some doohickey out of leather. He had a very nasal voice and I remember it well. I think of it every time I feel like I'm the king of something, like driving minivans in reverse at work, or eating Fritos. But now being the king of something feels kind of second-rate. I need to be the emperor. History has brutally downplayed all of my abilities. Rating: 1 out of 5.

I drank a soda. It was tasty. Rating: 5 out of 5.

I got a free ticket to the new Harry Potter movie. I've never read any of the books nor seen any of the Harry Potter movies until now. My knowledge of Harry Potter consisted entirely of Potter Puppet Pals. You can understand my slight confusion at some parts, and maybe "Hogwarts" is a place where they teach people how to act really badly, so I should really learn more about the series before I judge this movie. Rating: N/A out of 5.

I just got kicked in the back. It was accidental and I hardly felt it, and it was by Cannon, which is always a pleasure. Rating: 4 out of 5.