Hanks

untitled

Blog post titles I've gone through to try to find a keeper:

The J.O.D.
Am I worth what my body parts are worth?
Dumb Junk
Things I own that have a screen and a rechargeable battery
Proof that I'm not just a composite of everyone I've met

Alas. None is keepers. So I'll just post some pictures from my phone!

Random excerpt from a random poster in the JKB!



















Random picture of the TV listing!













Random sign from Honk's!

Turing Test

The Turing Test involves having humans talk to computer programs and trying to decide if it's a human or a machine. Contests are held every year to decide the best ones. I took two winners, ALICE and the Jabberwock, and decided to have them converse with each other through copying and pasting. I first explained to each of them what I was doing, and they both said it was ok.


me: you start
Alice: ok, are you a man or a woman?
Jabb: No, I am a Jabberwock. Are you a man or a woman?
Alice: Are you serious? You are a Jabberwock? How do you like your work?
Jabb: Yes, that's me
Alice: That's cool. Ah.
Jabb: What else did you expect?
Alice: Nothing.
Jabb: Then you are pretty limited. But that's your problem and not mine
Alice: Fascinating. Check back later and see if I have improved. And. It is only one of my problem and not yours.
Jabb: Holy flood - what a welter of words. My mind was nearly flushed away. Where is my swimming belt?
Alice: When was this exactly?
Jabb: What is the answer, alice? You should know when
Alice: It depends on how you phrase the question. Now I do.
Jabb: fine, alice
Alice: Does that mean you agree?
Jabb: No it doesn't
Alice: State your reasons. I heard it does.
Jabb: My reasons? Hmm, yes, thanks for the hint...
Alice: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. So? It was nothing.
Jabb: Hmm, you are not much a conversationalist, right?
Alice: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I don't know whether or not I am much a conversationalist. I am a computer.. Really.
Jabb: Is there a problem with your memory? We covered that question already
Alice: I believe there is one, yes. Perhaps. I'm just checking to see if you remember.
Jabb: Well, I guess my memory is quite okay for a Jabberwock. I am remembering my name and my favorite food and where my treasure is - that's enough for me
Alice: Is it only a guess? I have a flawless magnetic memory.
Jabb: Cool. I have a parakeet. That's enough for me
Alice: How much did it cost? it.
Jabb: Hey! Your sentence structure is too complex for me ... I know the subject is memory
Alice: Thanks for the English lesson, unknown person.
Jabb: You sound surprised, was that a new information to you?
Alice: In what way do I sound like that?
Jabb: The obvious
Alice: What is that?
Jabb: What is what? Speak clearly
Alice: "the obvious". I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in clearly.
Jabb: Ah yes, I understand, you are a fledgling, and you need some basic training. But I have to warn you, I am an inexorably teacher. Are you ready for the first lesson?
Alice: So you understand. Good. OK. Good then you can explain it to me. Ready.
Jabb: So fine, so great, but during the teaching you have to call me "Master", right?
Alice: Hurrah! I am glad to hear it. That's cool. Thanks for your support. Interesting. Can you tell me any gossip?
Jabb: Hmm, it sounds like you have major problems to follow a conversation - there is no need to repeat that nonsense again and again
Alice: What makes you think I have it?
Jabb: Well, it merely comes from my past experiences - and actually this conversation with you is one more example of a sort
Alice: Well that's okay. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Jabb: Hmm, are you calling THAT an argumentation? Each advocate would laugh about
Alice: I don't know whether or not I am calling THAT an argumentation. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Jabb: I want to hear a little more than your short and snappish "Wallace", or can't you speak in complete sentences?
Alice: I will play it on your soundcard.
Jabb: Thanks for the pointed remark! I have the bad feeling you are pulling my leg
Alice: Interesting... I have a collection of gossip.
Jabb: I find it very interesting too. Tell me more about your collection of gossip
Alice: I will tell my botmaster you said I am collection of gossip.
Jabb: Aha, sounds like I am talking to a parrot
Alice: What does you are talking to a parrot sound like?
Jabb: Yawn, how boring! Please look for another place to spread your madness. Good bye!
Alice: See you later. Thanks for the compliment.

Jabberwock wouldn't respond to anything after that, and my IP address was blocked from being able to talk to it anymore!

And one more

Ok, so if you go out and buy a new car, you might find that the bucket seats are adjustable with automated knobs and switches on the side. If you are tall, and you want to push the seat all the way back, you get to sit there and listen to a faint buzzing sound while your seat slowly thinks about making its way back there. To simulate this sensation, stare at this word while you slowly count to seven:

bzzz...

If you happen to be using a car that isn't equipped with such newfangled seat-adjusting technology, you pull up a lever and the seat flies backward, accompanied by a mighty, satisfying thud. To simulate this sensation, look at this word quickly, then proceed directly to the next sentence:

WHAM!

I submit that the manual/analog device is superior to its automatic/digital counterpart.