Things and their ratings

I slammed out some sweet history assignments. The one and only thing I remember is that the Chinese used the word "emperor" because "king" wasn't awesome enough. A very long time ago I overheard a guy say "are you kidding? I'm the king of these things!" referring to the making of some doohickey out of leather. He had a very nasal voice and I remember it well. I think of it every time I feel like I'm the king of something, like driving minivans in reverse at work, or eating Fritos. But now being the king of something feels kind of second-rate. I need to be the emperor. History has brutally downplayed all of my abilities. Rating: 1 out of 5.

I drank a soda. It was tasty. Rating: 5 out of 5.

I got a free ticket to the new Harry Potter movie. I've never read any of the books nor seen any of the Harry Potter movies until now. My knowledge of Harry Potter consisted entirely of Potter Puppet Pals. You can understand my slight confusion at some parts, and maybe "Hogwarts" is a place where they teach people how to act really badly, so I should really learn more about the series before I judge this movie. Rating: N/A out of 5.

I just got kicked in the back. It was accidental and I hardly felt it, and it was by Cannon, which is always a pleasure. Rating: 4 out of 5.

Fugonons

I'm sick of fugonons. It's as if people don't even know they're using them. It amazes me that there are people my age that still do things like chew with their mouths open, make fun of people, or use a fugonon when a simple comparison will do.

Here are four additinoal photos, one from each of the events described in the previous post. And I'm in each picture! I guess that would make each photo a sort of visual fugonon.

Things I have recently eaten

I recently ate four things:

1. It was my cousin's birthday on Saturday, so I went to her house in Orem to celebrate. It turns out she likes Indian food, and I helped(watched) my aunt make some chicken tikka masala. Here's a picture I took.
















2. Some friends and I decided to try and make some fondue out of some Starbursts, so we melted down a bunch of pink starbursts and made a Starburst apple as though it were a caramel apple. Here's a picture I took.




















3. I finally got sick of NOT eating any Jack in the Box, so I drove to Pocatello, which is the closest location to my house, and I finally had some. It was worth it. Here's a picture I took.
















4. I drove to Salt Lake, and wandered onto the U of U campus. All of the buildings were locked, but I found a door that had been propped open. I went inside and bought a Twix bar. Here's a picture I took.

















One of the above stories is false.

Things I'd Rather Do Than Study History

To participate in this blog post, find a quarter and flip it when prompted!

Study history? I'd rather shove a (flip now!!)

heads: PENCIL
tails: NONDESCRIPT SURGICAL TOOL

into my (flip now!!)

heads: EYE
tails: ABDOMEN

and give it a(n) (flip!!)

heads: 90 DEGREE TURN
tails: ADDITIONAL THRUST

(flip again!)

heads: FIVE TIMES
tails: SIX TIMES

and I'm (flip!)

heads: NOT KIDDING.
tails: DEAD SERIOUS.

I don't like history. I can't do it.